Weswhite.net

It’s been a while since my name made waves, but yesterday it resurfaced in the Reformed Twitter world. The reason? I was named a “scandalizer” on a list held up by the Stated Clerk of our denomination. The warning, in context, was against becoming someone who constantly focuses on the errors of others. It’s a good and timely warning. I’ve seen firsthand how that path can lead to a dark place. Devotion to controversy has a way of hollowing people out. I’ve watched it happen—repeatedly.

So, how did I end up on that list?

I entered the Reformed world full of questions. Reading broadly only gave me more. Early on, I was drawn toward what’s known as the “Federal Vision.” It had a certain pull—especially its high view of the sacraments. That approach seemed to resonate with some New Testament language and offered answers to issues like assurance, the role of works, and the centrality of the church.

But over time, I began to see the problems. Taken too far, those views risked overemphasizing the external at the expense of spiritual communion. Charles Hodge’s Discussions in Church Polity helped clarify this for me. The dangers, I concluded, outweighed the benefits. I turned away.

A few years into pastoral ministry, those very debates hit our presbytery. The conflict was intense. Eventually, cases reached the highest court of our church. As the dust settled, I realized this wasn’t just a local problem—it was bigger than I had thought. And I believed some of our denomination’s most visible leaders—Bryan Chapell, Roy Taylor, and Tim Keller—weren’t doing enough to confront it.

So I fought. Hard. I used every means available to me, chief among them my blog: weswhite.net, also known as Johannes Weslianus. I modeled it loosely on Breitbart—exposing, analyzing, naming names.

By 2012, I walked away from it all. I turned my focus back to the local church. Why? Because while I had worked to expose falsehood, I hadn’t focused enough on truth. And the truth is this: the Gospel offers salvation to all and creates spiritual communion among those who believe it. That realization changed how I saw others—inside and outside the church. It made me want to become better at communicating how this faith draws us into fellowship with God and one another. Ironically, I found myself resonating with Bryan Chapell’s own vision for the PCA. I laid out my strong affirmation of his vision here.

I shut down the blog. I stepped away from church politics. Part of me felt the work I had been called to do was finished. It was time to hand it off to others.

My theological views didn’t change, but my posture did. I came to see that my approach had often been wrong. I had maligned good men—Chapell, Taylor, Keller—not because of theological disagreement, but because of how I chose to wage my battles. So, I apologized, publicly and privately, where I could.

I also began working toward reconciliation. One former adversary and I reconnected. We talked, listened, forgave—and became friends. You can read about it here.

That change was a gift. I don’t regret stopping. I don’t regret contending for important issues. I do regret the way I sometimes did it—especially the ways I hurt people, including those who largely agreed with me but chose a different, and perhaps wiser, path. I regret my impatience. I regret not building more around a positive vision of the Christian life—one grounded in love for the Triune God and service to others.

Being on that list doesn’t bother me. At one time, I was exactly the kind of person it warns about. But I’m grateful those days are behind me. I still care deeply about truth, but controversy no longer tops the list.

Today, I serve as assistant pastor in Dr. Chapell’s former church. I’ve seen the fruit of his ministry firsthand. I’m thankful for his work here and in the denomination. I wish him all the best—and I genuinely hope his vision becomes more and more the vision of the PCA.