It’s been a while since my name made waves, but yesterday it resurfaced in the Reformed Twitter world. The reason? I was named a “scandalizer” on a list held up by the Stated Clerk of our denomination. The warning, in context, was against becoming someone who constantly focuses on the errors of others. It’s a good and timely warning. I’ve seen firsthand how that path can lead to a dark place. Devotion to controversy has a way of hollowing people out. I’ve watched it happen—repeatedly.
So, how did I end up on that list?
I entered the Reformed world full of questions. Reading broadly only gave me more. Early on, I was drawn toward what’s known as the “Federal Vision.” It had a certain pull—especially its high view of the sacraments. That approach seemed to resonate with some New Testament language and offered answers to issues like assurance, the role of works, and the centrality of the church.
But over time, I began to see the problems. Taken too far, those views risked overemphasizing the external at the expense of spiritual communion. Charles Hodge’s Discussions in Church Polity helped clarify this for me. The dangers, I concluded, outweighed the benefits. I turned away.
A few years into pastoral ministry, those very debates hit our presbytery. The conflict was intense. Eventually, cases reached the highest court of our church. As the dust settled, I realized this wasn’t just a local problem—it was bigger than I had thought. And I believed some of our denomination’s most visible leaders—Bryan Chapell, Roy Taylor, and Tim Keller—weren’t doing enough to confront it.
So I fought. Hard. I used every means available to me, chief among them my blog: weswhite.net, also known as Johannes Weslianus. I modeled it loosely on Breitbart—exposing, analyzing, naming names.
By 2012, I walked away from it all. I turned my focus back to the local church. Why? Because while I had worked to expose falsehood, I hadn’t focused enough on truth. And the truth is this: the Gospel offers salvation to all and creates spiritual communion among those who believe it. That realization changed how I saw others—inside and outside the church. It made me want to become better at communicating how this faith draws us into fellowship with God and one another. Ironically, I found myself resonating with Bryan Chapell’s own vision for the PCA. I laid out my strong affirmation of his vision here.
I shut down the blog. I stepped away from church politics. Part of me felt the work I had been called to do was finished. It was time to hand it off to others.
My theological views didn’t change, but my posture did. I came to see that my approach had often been wrong. I had maligned good men—Chapell, Taylor, Keller—not because of theological disagreement, but because of how I chose to wage my battles. So, I apologized, publicly and privately, where I could.
I also began working toward reconciliation. One former adversary and I reconnected. We talked, listened, forgave—and became friends. You can read about it here.
That change was a gift. I don’t regret stopping. I don’t regret contending for important issues. I do regret the way I sometimes did it—especially the ways I hurt people, including those who largely agreed with me but chose a different, and perhaps wiser, path. I regret my impatience. I regret not building more around a positive vision of the Christian life—one grounded in love for the Triune God and service to others.
Being on that list doesn’t bother me. At one time, I was exactly the kind of person it warns about. But I’m grateful those days are behind me. I still care deeply about truth, but controversy no longer tops the list.
Today, I serve as assistant pastor in Dr. Chapell’s former church. I’ve seen the fruit of his ministry firsthand. I’m thankful for his work here and in the denomination. I wish him all the best—and I genuinely hope his vision becomes more and more the vision of the PCA.
Well said and well done, brother!
Thank you Wes! I can’t adequately express how grateful I am for you and your words here. I am especially grateful for how you have come to love and reflect the grace of the Gospel and the Gospel of grace.
Thanks for your encouragement, Howard!
Thanks for taking the time to read it, Andy. Good to hear from you.
Interesting story of how you made it on Chapell’s naughty list. What is your X name? Too many Wes Whites and none look like you.
@wes_net
That was a very humble and quality response in light of a rough accusation Wes. Thanks for sharing your background and heart. We miss you here in TN!
I am seminary trained with an M.Div, but found myself ultimately not doing ministry for very long. When I first became a pastoral intern one of the first things I noticed was pastoral rivalries between ministers. I was in the OPC at the time. It was something that I found very bewildering. I still do. I sought to become a reservist chaplain shortly after the events of 9-11-2001. But my call written by the chaplain endorser at the time was blocked by the small candidates and credentials committee headed up by the regional home missionary at the time in our presbytery who had a rivalry with the pastor under whom I served. I soon found that I had walked into a situation, unbeknownst to me, that was very unfair to me as ministers vied for influence over my ministry, and perhaps my vote for things their way in presbytery. I eventually just went back to public school teaching where I could avoid all that. I am content as a member even though I have had people on numerous occasions tell me I should pastor. When I have exhorted it was always a clear gospel message. But I have to be honest, I don’t have the stomach for ministry when I see controversy like this, and I feel like the Lord spared me from what I could not handle. I never wanted to Lord it over people. I merely wanted to preach Jesus. I have probably done more good as a teacher. I am now a special education teacher. I have taught more than 20 years.
Wes, I am so sorry that this happened to you. I do not experience you this way, as one who spends his time continually pointing out the flaws of others. Maybe that was a past pattern. But, I personally experienced you turning from this to a different path, a path of repentance and grace, and it ministered to me greatly. May the Lord pour out new mercies to and through you this day, on all of us this day.
For me, where this instance makes me want to start is to repent of all the ways that I functionally spend my time pointing out the flaws and errors of others, or the ways that I keep mental lists of those who are the “real problem” in the church and world. This morning, I come back to Chesterton’s line about me being the real problem, Paul’s line about he himself being the chief of sinners.
May Christ pour out new mercies today, and may he start with me, may he bring me by his grace fresh humility, repentance, patience and love. May he renew his church in these ways. Amen.
May the Lord bless you and renew you in his love. Thankful for your presence and ministry in Christ across the years.
Thank you, Paul. I’m glad we got to spend some time together in TVP. It was a real blessing.
thank you Wes for such a humble and gracious reply to the Chapell incident. I stumbled upon your blog given an article in Mere Orthodoxy. I wanted to bes ure pass on my affirmation and respect as you expressed your response. Blessings brother
Thanks so much, Bruce! Great to hear from you!