Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and he said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matt. 5:9). Yet peacemaking does not always produce peace. As the Apostle Paul put it, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Rom. 12:18). Both Jesus and Paul knew by experience: peace is not always possible.
Controversy is inevitable. In a fallen world—even among the redeemed—disagreements will arise. Some will be public. Some will be painful. All will be difficult.
What makes controversy dangerous is not just its presence but its power.
First, controversy often spirals. As Proverbs 17:14 warns, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” We’ve all seen small disagreements explode into chaos. Just as a single assassination ignited the horrors of World War I, so a careless word or action can trigger a prolonged and destructive conflict.
Second, controversy consumes. Once inside it, the temptation is to chase resolution endlessly. We keep thinking the next email, argument, or revelation will end it. But it rarely does. It drags on and on. Paul warns of those with “an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions” (1 Tim. 6:4). I’ve lived that. It took over more and more of my time, my energy, and my soul (see my article explaining this here).
So, how do we engage necessary controversy without being devoured by it? Here are five ways.
1. Don’t Turn Mountains into Molehills—or Molehills into Mountains
Francis Turretin, a master of theological controversy, wisely noted: “All truths are not of the same weight.” Some truths are essential to salvation and godliness. Others are important but not fundamental. Some guard church order. Others are matters of prudence and preference. Wisdom demands that we discern the difference (Sean Lucas called it “theological triage.” Read his post here).
John Holmes Agnew saw this clearly. He lamented how disagreements are often “magnified into mountains that separate us from each other,” while the weightier matters we agree upon “are almost buried in oblivion,” unable to unify us in “the sweetest harmony of love” (“Motives and Means to Peace in the Churches”). He was right. We must guard against exaggeration and distortion.
At the same time, some things are mountains. A fear of controversy must never keep us from naming sin or confronting error when needful for the good of our neighbor and God’s glory. When God calls us to speak, we must not shrink back.
2. Don’t Major in Everyone Else’s Sins
I once asked a friend why he constantly brought up a particular secondary theological issue. I said, “It just seems like you’re giving this issue more attention than it deserves.”
He responded, “Is the problem what I’m saying—or how I’m saying it?”
I told him, “It’s both. Even if you were talking about something as important as love for God, if your focus was constantly on other people’s lack of love for God, it would still be a problem.”
He agreed.
Charles Hodge called this fixation “censoriousness”—an excessive focus on other people’s sins and errors. It leads us to ignore our own faults and “forget our own accountableness” (see his commentary on Romans 14). When controversy focuses more on denouncing others than on dealing with ourselves, it turns the Christian life on its head (see 1 Timothy 4:16).
3. Contend Without Contempt
Controversy tempts us to mock at, sneer at, or insult others. But that is not the way of Christ.
The Apostle Paul told Timothy that the Lord’s servant “must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful,” and that he must “gently instruct” those who oppose him (2 Tim. 2:24–25). Likewise, Peter said we must give a reason for our hope “with gentleness and respect” (1 Pet. 3:15).
This is not optional. Controversy must be carried out in a way that shows others they are safe to engage with us. We must give honor to persons, even as we challenge their ideas.
4. When It’s Time to Move—Don’t Flinch
When hard things need to be said or done—say them. Do them. Delaying only intensifies the difficulty. Move. Don’t flinch.
Reinhold Niebuhr once wrote, “If violence can be justified at all, its terror must have the tempo of a surgeon’s skill and healing must follow quickly upon its wounds” (Moral Man & Immoral Society, 220). That insight applies to controversy. When action is needed, make the cut decisively—like a surgeon, not a butcher.
Proverbs says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Prov. 27:5–6). Paul rebuked Peter openly when it was needed (Gal. 2:11–14). But this was not his default mode. Most of the time, he reasoned, appealed, and persuaded. Only when decisive action was necessary did he act swiftly. When you must confront—do it clearly, then let the healing begin.
5. Let the Chips Fall—Don’t Chase Them Down
Controversial decisions will provoke anxiety. People will react. Some will misunderstand. Let them.
Don’t waste time managing other people’s anxiety. Don’t try to control their perceptions. Don’t retreat. And don’t lash out. All of these are anxious responses that only make things worse.
Moses let Israel’s anxiety get to him. Eventually, he snapped—and it cost him entrance to the Promised Land.
Hold fast to Paul’s approach: “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court” (1 Cor. 4:3). That’s not callousness—it’s steadiness. At the same time, don’t disconnect. Disengagement can be just as reactive as overreaction. Paul continued to connect with those who opposed him, to love and teach even when he was rejected (see 1 & 2 Corinthians). We should too.
Conclusion
Controversy is a fact of life in a fallen world. Christians must sometimes confront error and resist false teaching. But we must do so with the spirit of Christ—forceful when necessary, but always gentle, always wise.
Niebuhr offered profound counsel: we must be in the conflict, but also above it. We must engage without being consumed. This takes perspective. As he put it, we need:
- “a sense of awe before the vastness of the historical drama in which we are jointly involved,”
- “a sense of modesty about our own virtue, wisdom and power,”
- “a sense of contrition about [our] common human frailties and foibles,” and
- “a deep sense of gratitude for the divine mercies which are promised to those who humble themselves” (The Irony of American History, 174).
This posture will not only preserve our souls—it will make our witness in controversy far more powerful, for the good of others and the glory of God.
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Photo by Jaime Spaniol on Unsplash