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How to Find Lasting Joy

Life can so easily get us down. Most of the time we ask, how can we survive? Lasting joy seems utterly out of reach.

The Stoics were a group of people in the ancient world who sought to find lasting joy while living a normal life. They wanted to move past depression, anxiety, anger, worry, and all the other negative emotions that often dominate our lives.

The Stoics were not, contrary to the common misconception, proposing that we be emotionless. They wanted to experience the blessing of positive emotions and minimize the impact of negative emotions. As the Stoic Seneca (4 B.C.–A.D. 65) wrote in his Letters to Lucilius: “Above all, my dear Lucilius, make this your business. Learn how to feel joy” (Letter XXIII, 55).

In this article, I want to explain how the Stoics suggested that you could find joy and then compare and contrast it with a biblical view of joy based on 1 Peter 1:3–9.

With so many hard and even awful things, how did these ancient writers think that you could find joy?

1. Let go of unnecessary negative emotions. According to the Stoics, there are many things that keep us from lasting joy that do not need to. For example, most of the things we worry about never happen and are not even likely to happen. We get nervous even when things are going well. As Seneca said: “The mind at times fashions for itself false shapes of evil when there are no signs that point to any evil” (XIII, 28). Even if bad things could possibly happen, “It is indeed foolish to be unhappy now because you may be unhappy at some future time” (XXIV, 57).

2. Don’t seek your joy in changeable things. People, pleasures, and places can bring us joy. However, if they are the ultimate source of joy, then we will inevitably lose that joy when we lose those things. Seneca put it this way: “For his joy depends on nothing external and looks for no boon from man or Fortune” (LXXI, 190). For example, if our joy depends on our business doing well, we will lose our joy when our business fails. If our joy depends on laboring honestly, then we have a source of joy that is independent of circumstances (or fortune).

3. Re-interpret suffering and hard things. The Stoics did not seek out suffering. They believed that one could live a virtuous life in spite of suffering. They also saw that living rightly in the face of suffering could actually strengthen a person. Seneca compared learning to live virtuously in the face of suffering with training to fight well:

The only contestant who can confidently enter the lists [i.e., engage in the conflict] is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever (XIII, 26).

Responding well to suffering strengthens our character, and that is just one of the many ways we can reinterpret suffering to de-fang it.

4. Find a source of joy independent of fortune or circumstance. For the Stoics, that source was within oneself. Seneca said: “Do you ask me what this real good is, and whence it derives? I will tell you: it comes from a good conscience, from honourable purpose, from the right actions, from contempt of the gifts of chance, from an even and calm way of living which treads but one path” (XXIII, 55). Living rightly and responding well to what happens is something you can always do and that fortune and circumstance can never take away.

I think there is much to commend the Stoic perspective. We should let go of unnecessary worries, not found our joy on changing things, see the benefit of suffering, and find a joy independent of our circumstances. In my view, there is a large overlap with the Christian perspective, but there are important areas where our faith takes up the good insights of Stoicism and provides a much more solid context for lasting joy. Consider this in light of 1 Peter 1:3–9.

1. Christianity like Stoicism calls us from placing our joy in changeable things. Peter recognized that this world would bring us suffering and take away from us things that we value and find joy in: “You may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials” (1:6).

2. Christianity reinterprets suffering in a way similar to Stoicism. Suffering builds character. 1 Peter 1:7 is a bit difficult to translate, but the point is that suffering is like fire that makes your faith shine forth. When Jesus Christ is revealed, it will result in praise, glory, and honor.

3. Christianity finds joy in our character. We rejoice in the salvation of our souls, of who we are as human (1:9). We are being re-made, and this is something the world cannot take away from us. What is truly valuable that we possess? Our faith. It is of greater worth than gold (1:7).

4. Christianity finds joy in a relationship with Jesus. Here is where Christianity puts us on much better ground than Stoicism in finding lasting joy. There is a relationship with someone that is not changeable and is a source of continual affirmation and love. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy . . .” (1:8).

5. Christianity finds joy in the hope that all things will turn out well. Again, Christianity here redeems the insights of the natural world. It promises a world where the suffering we experience will be eliminated. It provides us a certain and unalterable hope that does not change based on circumstance. We have been born again into a new hope and an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade. “In this, you greatly rejoice” (1 Pet. 1:6).

Stoicism represents one of the best human attempts to find lasting joy, and it is one from which we can learn much. As the Church Father Tertullian said, “Seneca is often one of us.” However, our faith provides us with a source of joy that is far better than anything the mind of man could have imagined: virtue based on God’s powerful transformation, a relationship with someone who will always love us, and a hope that will not disappoint. That is a sure ground for lasting joy, if we can learn to see it.

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Scipio Africanus

Many people know the great Carthaginian General Hannibal. He took his elephants across the Alps from Spain to invade Rome and Italy during the 2nd Punic War (218–201 BC, the Punic Wars were a series of three wars between Rome and Carthage). This famous act memorializes Hannibal’s military prowess.

But less have heard of the man who defeated Hannibal: Scipio Africanus, Publius Cornelius Scipio (236–183). Scipio not only defeated Hannibal, he never lost a battle. He was Rome’s greatest general.

Seeing that Scipio’s rise was connected with the threat of Hannibal, it made me wonder, would there have been a Scipio without a Hannibal?

I tied that question into a larger question I had been pondering related to the Roman Empire. Carthage was Rome’s most formidable enemy. It was a vibrant and wealthy empire that controlled much of the Western Mediterranean outside of Italy. It’s easy to speculate, what would have happened if Carthage had won the war? Would there have been a Roman Empire?

But my question was a little bit different. It was this: without Carthage, would there have been a Roman Empire? Without this powerful opponent, would Rome have remained content as a land power in Italy?

Military historian Richard A. Gabriel’s book Scipio Africanus demonstrates that these two questions are interrelated to a much greater degree than I would have initially expected. According to Gabriel, Hannibal’s success allowed Scipio to arise, and it was Scipio who developed the idea of an empire as away of solving the long-term security threat posed by Carthage.

Here’s how it happened.

Hannibal was a great general, but Carthage had great generals. They had well-developed tactics, and they knew how to use their diverse armies as a tool of their will. Hannibal was simply the most capable and daring of these generals.

Hannibal dealt Rome its greatest defeat at the Battle of Cannae. There, Rome lost 80% of the soldiers who participated in that battle. However, this was merely one of many defeats that Hannibal inflicted on Rome. Hannibal remained in Italy as a threat to Rome for 14 years!

Rome could not defeat Hannibal in pitched battle, so several Roman strategists believed that the way to defeat him was to attack his base in Africa. Scipio is credited with this strategy, but he was not the only one to think of it. He was, however, the one who actually successfully carried it out.

When the 2nd Punic War started, Scipio was a junior cavalry officer. He did come from a prominent Roman family, but he advanced quickly because he actually survived and lived and so many of the officers above him died. Scipio’s own father was commander of the Roman forces in Spain, and he died fighting Hannibal’s brother Hasdrubal at Battle of the Upper Baetis.

Scipio was chosen to replace his own father as commander of the Roman forces in Spain. Scipio eventually defeated the Carthaginian forces in Spain and began planning the invasion of Africa. Beyond that, he began working to implement a broader vision. As Gabriel explains:

Scipio’s grand strategic vision was based in the new Roman class that looked to overseas expansion and commerce for Rome’s future. In Scipio’s view, Carthage’s predations in Spain and Sicily were forcing Rome to become a world power for it was the only way in which its legitimate security interests could be satisfied (140).

But he first had to defeat Carthage.

Scipio’s Africa strategy worked. The threat to the city of Carthage led to Hannibal’s recall. At the Battle of Zama, Scipio defeated Hannibal and quickly brought an end to the 2nd Punic War.

Following the war, Rome established its rule over Spain and other areas of the Western Mediterranean. Scipio established the first of Rome’s overseas colony cities: Italica. It was the first of the many Roman colonies that would spread throughout the Mediterranean world. From this one city came three emperors: Trajan, Hadrian, and Theodosius the Great (Gabriel, 138). Even though Rome was a republic at this time, this was the real beginning of Roman empire.

So, why does all this matter? When we consider large and difficult challenges, it’s easy to get discouraged. However, these sometimes scary things test us and enable us to grow. We should not seek out powerful enemies, but when we face them, we should be less daunted. Big challenges can defeat us, but they also present the biggest opportunities for growth.

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How Can I Learn to Anticipate Christ’s Return?

It’s easy to think that life will go on and on like it has forever, but we know that’s not true. You came into this world. You will leave it. Nations rise. Nations fall. Circumstances change.

Our faith teaches us that the biggest change in world history occurred when Jesus came into the world. It also teaches us that He will come again. This world where people eat, drink, marry, sleep, work, and rest will radically change. There will be a renewed heavens and new earth.

This change is so huge that it is hard to wrap our minds around it. How can we do it?

First, all the joy we desire will be fulfilled. Whatever brings you joy in this world is a pale reflection of the joy that will occur in the new heavens and new earth. The new earth will be a place of unspeakable joy.

Second, all that is lost will be restored. This is a world full of tragedy. Children die. Parents die and leave their children behind. As I was thinking about this article, I recalled the Gatlinburg fires a few years ago where countless people experienced trauma, lost houses, and lost pets. Sixteen people lost their loves. This is a world of tragedy, but the new heavens and new earth restores what is lost.

Third, all that has wounded us will be healed. Many people are experiencing deep wounds from circumstances, the people around them, and their own actions. Even when are not, we all have wounds from the past. For a while, we do well, but then something happens and all the pain comes rushing back. We wonder, when am I ever going to get past this? While we can have healing in this life, perfect healing exists in the new heavens and new earth.

That is the glorious hope of the Christian. If we can think in these ways about the new heavens and new earth, it will help us anticipate them with much greater hope. We can define ourselves in the words of the Nicene Creed as those who “look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.”

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Expect Opposition

In every good endeavor, expect opposition.

As soon as we get a vision for something good, our tendency is to think, “I’ve got the vision! It’ll be easy!” I want to lose weight, so I can do it. I want to become a writer, so I can do it. I want to make the basketball team, so I can do it.

Then, we crash. We give up. Why? We face opposition.

Recently, I listened to a podcast with author Steven Pressfield. He wrote a book called The Warrior Ethos. In the podcast he explains that the warrior ethos is one that applies to all of life. He noticed this when he started to write. He realized that there was opposition–laziness, distractions, perfectionism, worry, people. Within and without, life was battling against him to keep him from writing. Like a warrior, he needed to go to battle against that opposition.

Opposition to the good comes primarily from three places: the world, the people around us, and ourselves.

The world system seems to oppose us. It’s almost like it conspires to keep us from doing good. We have good plans, but things keep happening that derail them. We want to save money, but things keep breaking down. We want to devote ourselves to writing, but urgent demands keep getting in the way. The world presents us to us innumerable alluring things to lure us away from the good that we would do.

Other people also oppose us. Sometimes, they do it deliberately. They say, “You can’t do that!” “That’s a waste of time,” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” Sometimes opposition is not deliberate. People just have their own agendas, and they subconsciously apply emotional pressure to get us on their agenda.

The world and people would not be nearly so powerful, though, if it did not have an ally within our own hearts. We are our own greatest opposition. We were excited about doing something, but now we’re not as excited. We think we should wait until we feel more “in the spirit” to do something. We see things around us that excite us more in the moment. We think we need more rest than we do. We waste our energy on fruitless things. We just get lazy. The list goes on and on. This is just opposition.

I think here of exercise. Food and diet advice comes and goes, but if there is one thing that doctors are sure of, it is that regular exercise will help us. We all know this. So, why don’t we do it? Opposition, mostly from within ourselves. When it comes to exercise, there is rarely a time that you really feel like doing it, especially tough exercise. You just have to do it. It’s one of those touchstones of discipline in our lives.

In the Christian faith, God gives us great and precious promises to enable us to live a whole, virtuous, and good life that reflects His glory. He forgives all our sins and sets us on a new path. We don’t have to live as slaves to our lust or our pride or our anger anymore. This is good news. When people hear it, they like it.

But one thing the Bible also teaches us is: expect opposition. It drills this into our heads, but the moment we as Christians face opposition, what do we do? We cry out and complain as if God had never warned us about this! We don’t expect opposition. We always seem surprised by it.

When it comes to doing that which is good, we should expect opposition.

That’s a hard truth, but a helpful one. If we can learn to say in every good endeavor, “there will be opposition,” then we can prepare. We can plan. We can engage. Expecting it, we won’t be as discouraged when we encounter it. Additionally, when we take opposition seriously, we have the opportunity to consider the resources we have to stand up against it.

On the other hand, if we think that there won’t be opposition, then we will get discouraged the moment we encounter it. We will take it as some sort of sign that things are amiss and abandon the endeavor.

To steel ourselves to do what is good, expect opposition!

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The Messages We Tell Ourselves

Behind our emotions are stories. We tell ourselves messages that shape our hearts and minds and actions.

These messages may drive us forward, messages like “you have skill,” “you can learn,” “you will be alright,” “people like you,” “God will take care of you,” and so on.

Other messages keep us from moving forward: “you are not valuable,” “you are incompetent,” “you will lose everything,” “people will not like you,” “you will be alone,” “you won’t have resources,” and so on.

It’s not always easy to know what these messages are. They are often buried so deep that they are not readily available to our consciousness.

Here’s one example from my own life.

My wife is a homemaker, and, throughout our married life, I have often been frustrated with the state of the house. It has taken me a long time to understand the message I am telling myself: I can’t be OK if the house is in disorder. This, of course, is not true, but it’s what I’ve told myself over and over.

Thinking a bit more about this message, I started to wonder where that message came from. My personality is inclined to want an orderly environment, but I dug deeper. I realized my Mother was a very orderly person. I regard this as a real virtue. She kept the house in virtually perfect order. I grew up expecting that this was how the house would be. Without my effort, the house was just always magically in order!

Then, I started thinking about my wife. She is much more tolerant of chaos and disorder than my Mother was. She can function very well with things being disorganized and stuff being everywhere. I actually regard this as a real virtue as well, one I need to grow in!

There is another difference between my Mom and my wife. My Mom had two children. My wife has seven! It’s just not going to work out the same way, no matter how much we may want it to.

The seven children show a great variety in their toleration for cleanliness and order. I have one daughter who is able to function in conditions that would drive my crazy. Below is a picture of the work conditions in which she made clothes for her dolls. I really admire her ability to adapt to almost any condition!

All these reflections have helped me change my attitude about the house. Instead of frustration, I can even feel admiration for how my wife holds things together and is able to do so well in the midst of so many distractions in our house.

How was I able to get there? I had to take time to really think through the message that I was telling myself. I had to peel back the layers and see something of what was going on in my mind and heart.

I think the first step in the transformation of our character and mentality is beginning to ask, what is the message I am telling myself? Then, we can evaluate its truth and value.

The messages we tell ourselves shape our lives, but we they don’t have to be. We can discover what these messages are and choose to tell different ones. In my view, this is one key to learning to live a different and better type of life.

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