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Discerning God’s Will for Your Life

Who should I marry? What job should I pursue? Should I move to a new place? Should I switch churches?

When we think of discerning God’s will for our lives, these are the questions we often think about.

The irony of these questions is that the Bible has little to say about them in general and, of course, no specific answer to them. The Bible does have wisdom on these subjects, but they are not major themes.

Why, then, do we bring in the subject of God’s will when it comes to making choices about our life situation?

Perhaps one reason is that we believe that happiness and the good life hang in the balance with these decisions. We believe that we need the right job, church, spouse, or home to be happy.

But what if our happiness does not depend on them? Could it be that God says so little about these decisions because He has a different view of what a happy life is? Could it be that God does not believe our happiness is rooted in what job we have or what school we attend?

God does have a different view. The Bible has a lot to say about discerning God’s will, but it relates primarily to the type of people we are. I believe that God’s view is that our happpiness is rooted in what type of people we are not in ourward circumstances.

For example, God gave the Ten Commandments as an expression of His will for our lives. These commandments speak to what type of people we are. They call us to put God first in our hearts and lives. They call us to live patient, chaste, temperate, just, and honest lives. According to the Bible, these qualities are what makes us good, happy, and blessed.

This means that whether we live in Michigan, Great Britain, Australia, Africa, or North Dakota, the primary factor in our happiness is not these places or the people in them. It is the type of people we are in those places. As the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote in his <em>Meditations</em>: “Where a man can live, there he can live well.”

If we are the type of people that God wants us to be, then we can be happy whatever the circumstances and whatever the situation. If we love God above everything else, then we have access to Him in any job, place, marriage, or school. Faith in God’s goodness and love for us enables us to say: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want” (Phil. 4:12).

We should not doubt that God wants us to be happy. The trouble is that we pursue things (even good things) that will not get us there. Happiness is not found in the circumstances and people in our lives. It is found in God and His love for us. It is found in being the type of people God wants us to be. The result of being what God wants us to be is joy and peace that enables us to love God and humans well.

God’s will for us is to be happy, and He has told us the way. It is by becoming the type of people who reflect His glory by how we live. There is no question or debate that this is God’s will for our lives. It is not that hard to discern. Living it is the challenge, a challenge we can only meet by God’s grace in Christ.

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The Glory of the Law

What is the best way for humans to live? How can we be truly happy?

People may not discuss these questions explicitly, but all around us, people give answers to those questions. They tell us that we will be happy if we have a full head of hair, white teeth, big homes, and new cars. That is the good life. That is real living. Commercials present this vision of the good life to us a thousand times every day.

People also have strong opinions about the right way for people to live. John Ortberg explains (here) that people talk about it every day. Just listen to their conversations. People have so many complaints about what other people have done to them. They believe that others haven’t lived how they were supposed to live. However, it’s clear from their own lives that they haven’t lived according to the human ideal either!

So, how should we live? What will give us true happiness?

What if God came down from heaven and told us exactly how to live to be truly human and happy?

Well, that’s what He’s done. The book of Exodus describes God coming down to Mount Sinai. There, He spoke audibly to the entire people of Israel. They heard God’s voice. There, He told them how to live. He gave the Ten Commandments.

What do you think of when you hear the word “law”? It’s easy to get a negative view of it. Many Christians speak of the law in a negative way.

This is in part based on some of the ways the Bible speaks. The Bible recognizes that the law can tell us what to do, but the law can’t help us when we have broken the law or give us power to fulfill the law. Only God can do that.

We must be very clear, however, that the law is not the problem. We are the problem. As the Apostle Paul said: “So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. . . but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin” (Rom. 7:12, 14).

When we think of the law, we should not have a negative reaction. We should think like the Psalmist: “Oh how I love Thy law, it is my meditation all day long!” (Psalm 119:97).

When we think of the law, we should think of glory. It is a glorious thing that God has spoken to us and told us exactly and clearly how to live. It is a wondrous thing that God has given us His commandments.

The Apostle Paul says that though the law condemns us, this does not mean that the law is not glorious. Instead, we should think this way: “If the ministry that brought condemnation was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness!” (2 Cor. 3:9).

The opinions of people and the message of the world present a way of living that will disappoint us and not lead us to the happiness we desire. Praise God that He has revealed to us the right way to live and be happy! Praise God that He has given us His commandments! Praise Him even more that He offer us His Spirit, who enables us to obey His commandments.

So, let it be our prayer: “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and “command what you want, O Lord, and give what you command!”

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Moving Beyond Happy Meals: Asking the Bigger Questions

It’s easy to live our lives and ignore bigger questions. Most people only ask bigger questions when something shakes up their world such as the death of a spouse, serious financial loss, or a life-threatening illness.

These “bigger” questions are the fundamental questions of human existence. They unite all human beings because all human beings have to confront them. They are always just the under the surface of our daily interactions.

They are questions such as these:

  • Why am I here?
  • Am I significant or valuable?
  • What is my purpose in life?
  • What is the best way to live?
  • What do I think of death?
  • What is the best way to live?
  • What will make us truly happy?
  • What is right and just and good?
  • Who or what is God?
  • What is success?
  • How much is enough?
  • What is the significance of other people?
  • How did the world come to be?

These and many more questions like them are the fundamental and most important questions of human existence.

Even if we do not think much about them or answer them with a great deal of clarity, we do have answers to these questions that we live by. For example, we all want to feel that we are valuable. Most of us base our value on what we do or what people think of us. As a result, our feelings of value fluctuate based on how well our relationships are going or whether or not we are doing something we deem valuable. If a relationship ends or our ability to work diminishes, then we can face a serious crisis of identity.

When it comes to the best life, the world around us presents answers to that question that fill our minds. The corporate world basically tells us that the best life is going to Disney World on vacation and eating meals at McDonald’s. That’s what will make us happy. Happy meals!

The corporations of the world make money based on the very powerful desire of each of us for immediate pleasure and comfort. We all have a sort of default to seek our immediate comfort and pleasure. It takes thought, imagination, and discipline to seek any good beyond these things.

The question is, are these things really the things worth pursuing? Do we really need more stuff? Will vacations truly satisfy us? Is eating out truly the best way for humans to enjoy life? Is there a higher and ethical purpose that cannot be easily marketed? What about God? What about people?

Even if we have bigger answers to these bigger questions, it’s not easy to put them into practice. We may believe that we are valuable because God values us and loves us. However, when humans reject us, we feel like we have no value. It’s hard to live by the answers we have thought through.

Now, this may change if something in our world shatters apart. This is often the driver to change. But we don’t need to wait. We can be intentional about asking the bigger questions, seeking to change our mindset to be more in accord with our answers, and then begin to implement the results of our thinking. We have minds and hearts that can move beyond the daily routine into something bigger, so why not do it?

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Not Worrying About Finances

I’m a strong believer in budgeting and savings. You either tell money what to do, or it gets spent. You don’t accidentally save money.

That said, I’ve also learned that when it comes to household finances, unexpected things always come up. Three areas suck up money the fastest: vehicles, houses, and health. I’ve often felt very good about my cash reserve only to deplete it with a new transmission, unexpected health problems, or plumbing bills.

It’s in those times of unexpected bills, when your cash reserves start to dwindle, that you begin to worry (and maybe earlier!). I’ve worried quite a bit about finances over the years. Trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for everything is stressful!

A couple months ago, I was studying Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero with a church small group. As we began one meeting, I asked, what is it that can really disturb your peace? One person answered: “Finances.”

After some conversation, I asked, “How many bills have you not paid in the last five years?”

This person said: “I can’t really think of any.”

I replied: “Then, maybe it’s not really something to be worried about.”

After saying that, I thought of my own worry. I asked myself: In spite of all the surprises, how many bills have you not paid? I thought for a while, and I couldn’t really think of any. I might have forgotten the due date for a bill, but I didn’t miss paying for lack of money. It made me ask myself: Is this really something I need to worry about?

I am a Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ. Jesus explicitly told us not to worry about these things because our heavenly Father would take care of us (see Matthew 6 and the Sermon on the Mount). In my own case, God has not only said He would take care of me, but He has done so over and over again, often in extraordinary ways.

Reflecting on our small group discussion reminded me of something that happened 14 years ago that I had never really appreciated. After college, I worked, lived at home, spent little, and saved money. Then, I got married, went to seminary, had two kids, and spent all the money I had saved.

When we arrived in Spearfish, SD to take my first job as a Pastor, we literally ran out of money. We had nothing left. The savings got us all the way through seminary but no further.

At this point, we were not facing starvation. We could have eaten beans, taco shells, and pasta. But we didn’t have much else. Making our new home comfortable and exploring our new location was going to have to wait.

I don’t think I told anybody about our situation. However, out of the blue, our deacon came over to our house. He gave me a handful of cash and said that the congregation had collected it to help us in our move. I was stunned. We now had what we needed to make it to our first paycheck. God provided, not just for our bare necessities but for other things for our blessing and comfort as well.

We have experienced many things like this over the years, but this story is particularly precious to me because it occurred at a time when I had so little. Reflecting on this has given me greater confidence in my heavenly Father’s will to provide for me and take care of me.

Can I say that I won’t worry about finances again? No, but because of the small group discussion, I will combat financial worry with new and better weapons. I may worry, but I don’t need to.

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How to Not Miss the Good Things in Your Life

Our brain is like velcro for the bad but teflon for the good. We let bad things roll around in our head; we quickly move on from the good. Ever since I learned this simple yet profound point from Rick Hanson, I have made it my ambition to do a better job of taking in the good (for more detail on Hanson, see my article on his work here).

According to Hanson, many of our mental struggles result from simply not taking in the good things already present in our lives. For example, we can spend hours thinking about how someone criticized us. We spend hardly any time thinking of the compliment someone gave us. We think a lot about bills we might not be able to pay. We think very little about all the bills we have paid. Such distorted thinking is bound to make us more anxious about people and finances.

How do we start to balance this out? How can we do a better job of taking in the good things that are already part of our lives?

Here are a few thoughts.

Journal. On January 14, 2018, I started writing a weekly review, and I have continued this practice to the present time. Every time I do it, I walk away with a different view of my week than the one I began with. I go through my calendar, and I note the people I spent time with, the things I accomplished, the pleasures I enjoyed, the good experiences that I had, and the things I learned. By the end of this exercise, I realize that my week was much better than I thought it was when I sat down to write.

Linger. When you experience something good, take it in for a few seconds. Thank God for the good things that you have received. Don’t just drink or eat. Fix it in your mind for a few moments and give thanks to God. Don’t quickly move to the next thing.

Share. This week, I’m preaching about Moses’ father-in-law Jethro from Exodus 18. In this passage, Moses tells Jethro all the good things the Lord has done in the exodus from Egypt. Jethro is delighted to hear it all. We all need friends with whom we can share the good things in our lives. This gives us both the memory of something good as well as the enriching connection of a human relationship.

Celebrate. After Moses told Jethro about all the good things the Lord had done for them, they celebrated. They offered sacrifices to God and enjoyed a meal together with the leaders of the people of Israel. We can do the same. When something particularly good happens, celebrate it. Enjoy a meal and talk about it!

Write. One way to linger over things is to write about them. This year, I threw one of the best parties I’ve ever thrown: a celebration of Burns Night (read about it here). The reason I wrote the article was to relive this wonderful event and to share it again with the friends who were a part of the celebration. It was one more way of taking in the good and remembering all the good things God has given me.

Taking in the good has helped me not to miss the good things that are already in my life. I have seen firsthand that when we take in the good, we can live more fulfilled, joyful, and peaceful lives. And all these things are right there for the taking! We just have to take them into our hearts and minds and enjoy what God has given us.

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