Tag: Character

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If It Seems Too Good to Be True, It Is

Keeping Sane & Productive in an Insane World, Principle # 6: If It Seems Too Good to Be True, It Is

Growth in skills, acquiring wealth, building relationships, and growing in character all take time, and there is no substitute. But we often want it all without the work, and there are many people who will promise rapid shortcuts.

A few years ago, we were looking for a car. My Dad found a Toyota CRV with low mileage and in great condition. They wanted only $2,000. The person, the ad claimed, was moving to another country to serve as a missionary and simply wanted to get rid of it. It seemed too good to be true, and it was. They wanted money up front without giving us the car. It was a scam.

Experiences like that have multiplied because of the internet and social media. For that, I developed a basic rule: “If something seems too good to be true, it is.”

One of the most common experiences on the internet is the romance scam. Thousands of people give thousands of dollars to criminal organizations that pretend to be a person who loves you and is attracted to you. If you are a 60 something person, don’t believe that a 30 something knock-out with a lot of money is randomly interested in you. If something seems too good to be true, it is.

We all want the quick fix. But most things in life do not happen like that. Most things that are valuable require a lot of work over a long period of time. That’s why it’s much better to get to work than to look for an easy way out. As Henry Wadsowrth Longfellow put it, “Art is long, and time is fleeting . . .”

Now, one thing that does seem too good to be true but is actually true is God’s offer of grace and forgiveness. “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). This is something God offers us freely, and it does seem too good to be true. But it is true.

But many people make a mistake based on this. They think that because the Christian life is rooted in God’s grace that therefore it is free from effort. Not so. We read in the letter of James, “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience” (1:3). The Christian life involves much suffering designed to grow us in character.

The Christian life also involves effort. “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue . . .” says Saint Peter (2 Pet. 1:5). It takes a lot of diligence. Other versions say, “make every effort.” It’s work to develop character, even in the context of the grace of God. God can change us by a miracle, but most change involves a combination of God’s grace, challenging circumstances, and effort on our part.

When I was a teenager, I started to take a real interest in foreign languages. I was fascinated with communicating in other ways. From time to time, people would come up to me and ask, “What’s the secret to learning a foreign language?”

I would always answer the same, “Hard work.” It doesn’t matter what you do to learn, you just have to work at it . . . a lot.

And that’s how most things are. So, if it seems too good to be true, assume that it is. Give up on the quick fix. Embrace the long but extremely rewarding grind to sanity, growth, relationships, and productivity. It’s the long path and the sure path.

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Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash

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Keeping Sane and Productive in an Insane World, Principle #1: Don’t say, “I can’t do that.” Say, “I can’t do that today.”

Principle #1: Don’t say, “I can’t do that.” Say, “I can’t do that today.”

It’s easy to look at hard things and say, “I can’t do that.” That’s only partly true. You can’t do that today. But there are many things that you can’t do today that you could do if you worked at them over a period of time.

Many of the things that we admire in others are things that they worked at for a long time. Obviously, certain people’s bodies are better built for professional football than others, but those who become pro football players have put in thousands of hours of work to get there.

Whether it’s playing an instrument, speaking a foreign language, delivering a speech, writing a book, or running a marathon, these skills take time to develop. You may not be able to run a marathon today, but you could run one if you worked on it over a long period of time.

What is true in the area of physical skills is also true in relationships. You may not feel like you are good at connecting with people. However, you can work at it. You relate better to people. For example, you may think that your relationship with your child is not good. Say instead: it’s not good today, but it can be better in the future, if I work at it. Continue reading “Keeping Sane and Productive in an Insane World, Principle #1: Don’t say, “I can’t do that.” Say, “I can’t do that today.” “

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Pursuing Excellence

When you think of excellence, who do you think of? Lebron James, Albert Einstein, Muhammed Ali, Thomas Edison, or Ludwig Beethoven? All of these people accomplished great things.

The reality is, though, that most of us won’t be pro basketball players or boxers or famous scientists or compose musical numbers that people will enjoy listening to centuries after our deaths. No matter how hard we work, pray, or think, these things will not happen.

However, the door to an excellence that is greater than anything these men accomplished is wide open to everyone. That is the excellence of reflecting the glory of God!

How do we do this? We do it through virtue. Virtue is an excellent trait that shows the nobility and glory of humans and reflects the glory of God.

Humans were created in the image of God to reflect the glory of God, but this glory is diminished by original and actual sin. Corruption rather than virtue more often characterizes the human race. The goal of the Christian faith is to restore human beings to their original glory, excellence, and virtue.

What does this look like? The Apostle Peter provides us a beautiful description in his opening exhortation in 2 Peter 1:3-11. He begins by telling us that we now have everything we need for a godly life. How? Through God’s own virtue (same word as virtue in the Greek, v. 3). It is His own excellence that provides for us what we need to live a godly life.

When we think of a godly life, it is important that we think not merely of doing the right things or not doing the wrong things. It is about who we are. It is about characteristics that are excellent and noble that reflect the glory of God, participating, as it were, in the divine nature (see 2 Pet. 1:4).

After laying that groundwork, Peter explains what those characteristics are. He says, “For this very reason, make every effort, be totally zealous, to add to your faith virtue and to virtue knowledge and to knowledge self-control and to self-control endurance and to endurance godliness and to godliness brotherly love and to brotherly love, a love that reflects God’s love for lost sinners (agape love).”

This list does not exhaust the excellent character traits that reflect the glory of God, but they provide a helpful overview.

When we think of these characteristics, it is easy for us to miss that they are all about joy and happiness. When we think of God, we should see Him as being eternally content and happy. He has everything He needs for total and perfect happiness. He is the One who is creative and delights in making things. He is so full of goodness that His goodness cannot but overflow.

That’s the excellence that we should pursue. We should seek to be happy and joyful people because we are filled with the sufficiency of God. We delight in the good that God is and the good that He creates. We are filled with joy because we expect good things from Him, and so we don’t need to desire things that are not good or reasonable for us (self-control). Like God, we move out of this sufficiency to create and to love, even the most unlovable.

That is the glory that is available to each and every human being and that God offers to us as a gift.

If it is so available, why do we not see more people who reflect that glory? Because it involves serious effort. It takes zeal. We have to work at it. This does not mean simply trying harder. It means enlightening our minds through the means of grace, engaging prayerfully in the world with a new mindset, and enlisting folk to help us and serve as examples.

At the same time, it’s not an effort that is beyond normal human reach. It is available to us. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life. The burden and yoke of Jesus is a light one that actually gives us rest and gives us an excellence that reflects the transcendent glory of God. The power, promises, and presence of God are always available. We can become people of virtue, people whose character reflects the glory of God.

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Can We Change for the Better?

Can people who are fearful become courageous? Can those who are impatient become patient? Can the joyless become joyful?

To that, I answer an emphatic “yes!!!”

Here’s why I think this is true. First, I studied family systems over the past couple of years. I read many stories of people who were able to function differently in the challenging emotional environment of their family. It was hard, but they did it.

Second, I studied the Greek and Roman philosophers. Through the study of philosophy, many people were able to change for the better. They could learn to live by principle rather than by whim or reacting to emotional pressure.

Third, people train their emotions and will in many areas of life. People can learn to keep their body moving forward in the face of great danger. The philosopher Seneca described this well: “[T]he body can be trained to such a degree of endurance that it will stand the blows and kicks of several opponents at once and to such a degree that a man can last out the day and resist the scorching sun in the midst of the burning dust, drenched all the while with his own blood . . .” (Letters, LXXX).

He then goes on to ask: “[I]f this can be done, how much more easily might the mind be toughened so that it could receive the blows of Fortune and not be conquered, so that it might struggle to its feet again after it has been laid low, after it has been trampled under foot?” (Ibid., emphasis mine). In other words, can we not change our mindset to be able to keep moving forward in the face of great difficulties and disappointments?

As a Christian, why do I not argue for change from Christ transforming people? I certainly believe in the power of God in the lives of individuals. I have observed it in my own life and the life of countless others. I find, however, that many people underestimate what God can do because they don’t see that change is possible in ordinary life. In other words, if people can change so much without Christ, how much with Him?

So, “Great,” you might say, “some people changed. But how can I do it? How can I change?”

The first thing to recognize is that it is hard work. This is true in the realm of nature and the realm of grace. Sometimes, there is supernatural intervention that radically transforms people, but more often than not, it takes hard work. God uses hard work to transform people (Phil. 2:12-13, 2 Peter 1:5).

But what kind of hard work? John Ortberg in one of his talks at a conference called Living in Christ’s Presence asked the people attending that conference, “How many of you could run a marathon right now?” There were a couple. Then, he asked, “How many of you could run a marathon if you tried harder?” Of course, no new people raised their hands. Often, we think that change is a matter of trying harder. It is not. It is about the right training over a long period of time.

This is more than a loose analogy. The Apostle Paul used the word used for training in the gymnasium in his day and said, “Train yourself to be godly” (1 Tim. 4:7-8).

What does this training look like? In sum, developing virtue involves a changed mindset implemented in action over time that becomes a habit or character trait.

How would this work? let’s take patience as an example. Ask some questions of yourself: what are the circumstances in which you act impatiently? Does impatience help you? What are the results? What are you afraid of that causes you to be impatient? Developing a better mindset includes confronting a wrong mindset.

The positive side is to impress on your mind the better ways of thinking. To discover that you can ask questions like, what helps me be more patient? What thought or mindset has helped me be more patient in the past? What would be the positive benefit of patience? And so on.

Then, you need to practice. Put yourself in situations where you will need to be patient. Try to slow down and be OK with with it. Most of us have opportunities for this every single day: driving. We can work on being patient while we drive.

Over time, such work will begin to take effect. That doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect or problem-free. It just means you’ll get better.

That’s virtue training, training for excellence of character.

I believe that we don’t have to settle for where we have been in the past. I believe change is possible. God has given us everything we need for a godly life. We just need to step out in faith and start moving. His power, promises, and presence will be with us every step of the way.

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