In 2021, my daughter and I went to Egypt for two weeks. In part because of Covid, my daughter ended up homeschooling, so this became her senior trip. It was her first time out of the country. It was my first time out of the country in years. It was awesome and life-changing. It gave her a perspective on the world she had never had before, and it awakened something in me that had been sleeping for a long time.
At the end of the trip, my daughter said to me, “When I have more money, I want to travel.”
I responded immediately, “That’s not the way to think about it. Make it your goal to travel, and you will find the money.”
That’s how the 3rd cardinal virtue works. It’s about deliberate living. It’s about organizing our lives around the best things.
The word often used for this virtue is “temperance.” But that word doesn’t really capture what is in view. It makes people think merely of avoiding something bad or not using good things too much.
But that’s not really the point. The point is not the means. It’s the end. When you aim at good and big things, you begin organizing your life to get there. That’s the point about travel. When you have a clear goal to take a big trip, you start thinking about how you spend money everywhere because you want to gather the resources you need to do something bigger.
That’s the real meaning of temperance—or deliberate living.
How the Apostle Paul Expresses This in 1 Corinthians
In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he returns to this theme again and again: clarify how you spend your time by orienting your life toward better things.
In the ancient world, there was often discussion about what was good and what was useful or helpful. You can find this, for example, in Cicero’s On Duties (read about here). Paul takes up this same theme: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful” (1 Corinthians 6:12).
So how are we to judge? We look at our goal. Not everything is useful for achieving it.
Paul says, “The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body” (1 Cor. 6:14). Sexual immorality is not a proper use of the body, and therefore it does not help us achieve our true purpose as human beings. Paul explains what that purpose is: the body is made for the Lord. It is an instrument for communion with and service to the Lord.
Another example: “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Cor. 9:22b). Paul lets go of many lesser goods and adapts to the cultures and conditions of the people he is with. He does not do this randomly or merely for its own sake. He orders his life toward a clear end: that he might save some. He lets go of a lesser good (living strictly according to one’s own culture) and pursues a greater good (connecting with people in their culture) for a far higher purpose (their salvation).
That is deliberate living.
In 1 Cor. 9:24–27, Paul uses the illustration of an athlete. The athlete willingly foregoes many things and engages in demanding disciplines because of a goal: to win the prize. That’s an analogy for life. The higher goal is to enjoy salvation and its benefits—communion and fellowship with the Lord.
“No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize” (1 Cor. 9:27).
It’s not just exercise for its own sake. It’s training directed toward making oneself fit for “the prize.”
Paul returns again to the theme of 1 Cor. 6 in chapter 10. He says, “I have the right to do anything, you say—but not everything is beneficial” (10:23).
What makes something beneficial? Your goal.
You don’t simply do whatever you want because you have an aim. “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (v. 24). Paul explains that this is what drives him: “For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved” (1 Cor. 10:33). He deliberately lets go of a real good (his own) for the sake of a greater good (that of the community).
So temperance, self-control, and moderation are not ends in themselves. They are training that aligns our actions with our higher purpose. The higher purpose is service to the Lord and the good of our neighbors.
That’s temperance. That’s deliberate living.
Two Illustrations
The first illustration comes from money. I am thankful that I have been able to enjoy a middle-class American life. However, living a normal middle-class life has required discipline. I could not simply go out and buy a new car every year, for example. Discipline has been forced upon me.
But what if I had made five times my salary? What if I could buy a new car every year and not even think about it?
In that case, the question becomes: do we really need all this stuff? Do we really need all these luxuries? What should we go without? What is too much? Those are difficult questions.
But here’s the thing. Looking at each of those questions individually makes the decisions complicated. What if you could realign them all with a bigger goal?
What if you sought to do something genuinely good with your money—something that required real sacrifice? Maybe even something you could not accomplish alone?
Suddenly the decisions become easier. You would no longer evaluate purchases in the abstract. You would evaluate them in light of your larger goal. You would be living deliberately with your money.
But it all depends on having a goal in view.
The second example is that of my daughter.
We got back from Egypt in May 2021. That summer, she began learning Spanish and met some Colombians. She decided she wouldn’t “wait until she had money” to travel. She simply decided to travel.
On the day before her 19th birthday, she got on a plane to travel to Colombia to meet those same friends and travel throughout their country. She did it because she didn’t wait for the means. She made the goal, and the means became clear.
She did more than that. She decided to enroll in a Colombian university and studied there for a year. She found a way. She set the goal. Then it became clear what to say “no” to and what to say “yes” to each day. She was working toward a higher good.
That’s the virtue of temperance—the 3rd cardinal virtue.
Conclusion & Application
Are you struggling with time-wasting, useless habits, or destructive impulses? It is good to fight against these things by setting time limits on phones, pursuing accountability, and taking other practical steps. Push hard against the things that hold you back.
But add a pull—the pull of greater goals.
If you are struggling, start here: are your goals big enough? Do you have enough ambition to do good for God, yourself, and your neighbor? Are you being pulled away from those negative or less useful activities toward something higher?
If not, it may be time to rethink what you are doing and recover a bigger vision.
The virtue of justice sets the higher goal. It places before us the glory of God and the good of the human community. Wisdom helps us see the best way to pursue that goal. Temperance orders our lives so that we can achieve it and keeps us focused on it.
In the next article, we will talk about fortitude—the virtue that keeps us going and prevents us from being thrown off course when obstacles get in the way of the good we want to do.
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Appendix – Lawful and good things you might sacrifice to meet your goals of greater good:
- Comfort and Convenience – Choosing effort, discipline, or discomfort to serve, grow, or lead rather than settling for ease.
- Personal Freedom – Laying down the right to do what you want so you can faithfully fulfill a calling, commitment, or relationship.
- Time for Self – Sacrificing leisure or personal projects to invest in people or responsibilities that matter more.
- Recognition and Credit – Yielding the desire to be noticed or praised so the team or mission succeeds.
- Wealth or Security – Giving generously or living simply so resources can advance a cause greater than personal comfort.
- Style and Taste – Willingly worship, sing, or study in ways that aren’t your favorite because they help others engage and unify the congregation.
- Control and Decision-Making – Supporting a direction or plan you wouldn’t have chosen so the group can move forward together rather than stall in disagreement.
- Social Comfort – Talking with or sitting near people outside your normal circle rather than gravitating to friends, so the fellowship feels genuinely shared.
- Schedule and Convenience – Adjusting your routine—attending at less convenient times, volunteering when needed—so ministries and gatherings thrive.
- Personal Expression – Holding back a strong opinion, preference, or criticism when voicing it would harm peace or discourage others, choosing unity over being right.
Lawful/good things you may sacrifice for the good of the community: