Author: Wes White

It is not only Christians who have seen the value of suffering and suffering well. Philosophers and teachers throughout the world have provided us with a variety of helpful ways of processing suffering. Here are a few that I have studied over the past year.

I want to present two lists of quotes from two different philosophers. The first list is from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations (read more here).

• Misfortune gives us opportunity to grow in and exercise good character, which is a great reward in itself. “Remember, too, on every occasion that leads you to vexation to apply this principle: not that this is a misfortune, but that to bear it nobly is good fortune” (4.49).
• If people do us wrong, we can preserve ourselves by not responding in kind. “The best way of avenging yourself is not to become like the wrongdoer” (6.6).
• If we get our way, that’s good. If we don’t, we have an opportunity to learn to be content when we don’t. Learning that is a great good. “Let us try to persuade men. But act even against their will when the principles of justice lead the way. If, however, any man by using force stands in your way, have recourse to contentment and tranquility, employing this hindrance as a spur to the exercise of some other virtue; and remember that thy attempt was limited, that you did not desire to do impossibilities” (6.51).
• It is our mindset not necessarily the thing itself that makes things so bad. “But I unless I think that what has happened is an evil, am not injured. And it is in my power not to think so” (7.14).

The second list is from the Roman philosopher Seneca’s letters to his student Lucilius.

• We don’t really know what we are made of until we have had to undergo many trials. “For our powers can never inspire in us implicit faith in ourselves except when many difficulties have confronted us on this side and on that, and have occasionally even come to close quarters with us” (25). He goes on to compare those who struggle in life with those who fight in the arena: “The only contestant who can confidently enter the lists [i.e., engage in the conflict] is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever” (Ibid., 26).
• Things are often worse in our fears than they are in reality. “There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than they are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality” (Ibid.).
• There is no reason to reject present happiness because of the possibility of future unhappiness. “Why, indeed, is it necessary to summon trouble–which must be endured soon enough when it has once arrived, or to anticipate trouble and ruin the present through fear of the future? It is indeed foolish to be unhappy now because you may be unhappy at some future time” (XXIV, 57).
• Recognize that all relationships are temporary and prepare accordingly. “Let not the eyes be dry when we have lost a friend, nor let them overflow. We may weep but we most not wail” (LXIII, 148). How are we able to do this? “For I have had them as if I should one day lose them: I have lost them as if I have them still” (LXIII, 149).
• Past unhappiness does not necessitate present unhappiness: “What benefit is there in reviewing past sufferings and in being unhappy, just because you were once unhappy?” (LXXVIII, 220).
• Whoever does wrong to someone else does more evil to themselves than to their neighbor. “When we do wrong, only the least and lightest portion of it flows back upon our neighbour; the worst and, if I may use the term, the densest portion of it stays at home and troubles the owner. My master Attalus used to say: ‘Evil herself drinks the largest portion of her own poison” (LXXX, 234).
• Losing things does not mean that we cannot continue to enjoy them. “What resource do we find, then, in the face of these losses? Simply this–to keep in memory the things we have lost, and not to suffer the enjoyment we have derived from them to pass away along with them. To have may be taken away from us, to have had, never” (XCVIII, 353).
• Don’t worry about what you don’t have. Enjoy what you do. “To have whatsoever he wishes is in no man’s power; it is in his power not to wish for what he has not, but cheerfully to employ what comes to him” (CXXIII, 455).

Both of these books provide numerous other thoughts that contain resources for suffering well. Seneca and Marcus Aurelius suggest that the way we think about suffering is a large part of our suffering. This is something we can change, and many thinkers, like these two, can help us do so.