Dealing with the Small Frustrations of Life

Do the small frustrations of life get you really upset or even angry?

How about traffic? Yesterday, I had to drive my daughter to The Island, an outdoor mall here in Pigeon Forge. Normally, I can do this in about 30 minutes. By the time I got to Teaster Road, I realized that this was going to take a lot longer. This was Rod Run. I saw the night I had planned begin to slip away. 30 minutes. 45 minutes. Finally, I arrived at the Island. Then, I headed home. Google found me a back way, but it was along a narrow, winding mountain road with a 20 mph speed limit in the dark. I almost thought of turning around and going through all the traffic. I made it home after more than an hour. Do these sorts of delays ever frustrate you?

What about grilling? Grilling is great, but there’s one problem. You never know when the propane will run out. So, you start the grill and start cooking the meat, and then you realize, there’s no flame! Now, you have to go out into all that Rod Run traffic and get more propane. Does stuff like that ever get you really upset?

These things can easily get me upset or frustrated, but I don’t want to be upset or frustrated by them. I’d really like to be able to meet these little inconveniences with equanimity. I’d like to be better at handling life’s little frustrations.

Fortunately, I’ve developed some tools to help me deal with these things better. These tools are different mindsets and different ways of looking at these problems. When I can look at these little frustrations with a different mindset rather than the emotional intensity of the moment, I can meet these small trials with greater peace. I know my mindset won’t change in a day or a week, but these things can help over time. Also, when I find myself losing composure, I can go back to them and calm myself down. Here’s three of these perspectives:

1. Ride the wave. In C.S. Lewis’ book Perelandra, we meet a new Adam and Eve freshly created and living on the planet Venus. It’s a new, unfallen, untainted human race. They live on little floating islands on a world of water. The mentality of the Lady, the Eve character, is that whatever the next wave brings is good because it is what Maleldil (God) wants. She says, “But how can one wish any of those waves not to reach us which Maleldil is rolling towards us?” She recognizes that whatever one expects, one can accept what God actually brings. This is where the wave takes you. Accept it as good because it comes from Maleldil. Continue reading “Dealing with the Small Frustrations of Life”

God Is Our Ultimate Source of Value, Love, and Provision

I have accomplished many things that give me satisfaction. When I put together a small group program and see people connecting, I feel good. When I am able to help someone get involved in an area of service where they flourish, I am thankful to God. When I finish a paper and hand it in, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, especially if I get a good grade!

God has also blessed me with many friends, an amazing wife, children who value me, parents who care about me, and various mentors, counselors, and advisers. When I think of all the people in my life, I am truly grateful for the love that comes my way.

I am also financially stable. I have money in the bank. I’m putting money toward retirement. My church takes good care of me.

The problem is that sometimes I try to do things and fail. Sometimes people hurt me or are not there for me. Sometimes I get a huge bill, and I’m not sure how I’m going to pay for it. If I lean too hard on any of these things for value, love, or provision, they fail me.

And that reminds me that all of these gifts cannot be the ultimate source of my value, love, or provision.

The ultimate source of my value, love, and provision is God Himself and the promises in His Word that He loves me, values me, and will take care of me.

Most of our great sins and pathologies arise from trying to take God’s good gifts and make them the ultimate source of our love, value, and provision.

It is only when we trust in God’s promises that we have an unshakable foundation of value, love, and provision. It is only when we trust in God that we can value His gifts for what they are and not turn them into an idol.

For example, if God is my ultimate source of love, then I can take my children’s love for what it is, a small but wonderful reflection of God’s infinite love. But what if I try to make my children the ultimate source of love? They will always disappoint. It will also probably crush them by placing on them a burden too great for them to bear.

If we can trust God as our ultimate source of love and let humans just be humans, then everyone will function better and have the opportunity to flourish.

Trust in God, then, is necessary for human functioning and flourishing (for a fuller discussion of this issue, see my article here).

God Will Supply All Your Needs

We all need things we don’t yet have, don’t control, or worry we’ll lose. We’re dependent on other people and things for our survival, much more than we think.

This worry about our needs can become all consuming. We can get consumed with worry about food, shelter, and savings. We can get consumed with whether or not we’ll be loved. We can get consumed about making sure we have security and protection from harm.

Into the midst of our worries, we have this promise from God, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

This promise is a rock of refuge in a sea of anxiety about our needs. It is a foundation on which we can build our lives as Jesus taught us (see Matthew 6:25–34). Continue reading “God Will Supply All Your Needs”