The Life We’ve Always Wanted
What if we could live in fellowship with God so deeply satisfying that every other desire, need, and hurt receded into the background?
I recently read the story of Brian “Head” Welch, the lead guitarist of the heavy metal band Korn. He had everything—fame, money, and every indulgence that success could buy. Then, in 2005, he left it all behind. Why? Because he found something better: Christ. That is what true fellowship with God can do. It gives us something richer than everything else combined.
Jesus called this “eternal life.” He said, “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent” (John 17:3). According to Jesus, real life consists in communion with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is life lived in fellowship with God Himself.
We Need to Change to Experience It
Eternal life is a gift of grace that we do not deserve (Rom. 6:23). It is freely available to all—no matter where we have been or what we have done. God stands ready to receive us. His character does not change. But we must change if we are to enjoy His life.
What kind of people must we become in order to live this life of fellowship? Three characteristics mark those who are growing into it:
- God awareness
- God-rooted confidence
- Godward affection
These qualities are not something we produce by sheer effort. The good news is that all who have received God’s gift of life are “being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). This is the Spirit’s ongoing work.
Yet we are not passive in it. Scripture calls us to lean into what God is already doing: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Phil. 2:12–13). Paul holds together the mystery of divine and human agency in spiritual transformation with perfect balance.
Let us consider these three characteristics more closely and how we can participate in God’s transforming work that conforms us to Christ.
God Awareness
The first key to enjoying eternal life is the habit of thinking more about God. God should become the steady background of our thoughts—the horizon against which all else is seen. We cannot enjoy fellowship with God if we seldom think of Him.
Human beings were created to live in continual communion with God. The Apostle Paul captured this when he wrote, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:16–17). Life, in its ideal form, is a constant rejoicing in God, a continual conversation of prayer, and a steady rhythm of gratitude.
The Psalmist expressed it beautifully: “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Ps. 16:8). God awareness means learning to keep our eyes fixed on Him.
We are told to meditate on His word “day and night” (Josh. 1:8–9). But this does not mean that we never think of anything else. Rather, it means that thoughts of God become our resting place—the home to which our minds return whenever they wander. Gregory of Nazianzen described this posture well: “For we ought to think of God even more often than we draw our breath” (Oration 27.5).
How to Become More God Aware
- Develop a rhythm of praise. Begin and end your day with time devoted to God. Read a psalm, sing, meditate on Scripture, or pray. Even a few quiet minutes can reorient your soul and renew awareness of His presence.
- Carry one thought of God with you. Choose a single truth or verse each day to return to in spare moments. Let it become a mental refrain that lifts your heart back toward God.
- Turn thoughts into prayers. Like the psalmists, bring every anxiety, joy, and question before God. When our thoughts become prayers, our minds are sanctified by His presence.
- Pursue fellowship that points to God. Regular conversation with other believers about the Lord deepens awareness of Him. Fellowship becomes another channel through which God keeps us mindful of His grace.
Over time, these habits cultivate a steady attentiveness to God that becomes the atmosphere of the soul.
God-Rooted Confidence
The second characteristic is God-rooted confidence. Eternal life is not merely about escape from judgment; it is about entering the blessedness of trust. We grow in our enjoyment of God as we learn to rest in His faithful care.
The mistake we often make is identifying God’s blessings with specific earthly goods—a job, a relationship, financial security, or comfort. God promises none of these. What He does promise is Himself. Jesus reminds us that if God feeds the birds, He will surely care for those made in His image (Mt. 6:19–34).
He promises to forgive us (1 Jn. 1:9), to accept us (Rom. 8:1), and to use us for good works (Eph. 2:10). Jesus promises to love us forever (Rom. 8:38–39), to lead us (Jn. 10:10), and to protect us from ultimate evil (Jn. 10:28–30). The Holy Spirit promises to help us in weakness (Rom. 8:26), to dwell with us (Jn. 14:6–7), and to transform us into glory (2 Cor. 3:18).
If we believed these promises deeply, we would live with profound peace. The problem is that we often seek security in things that cannot bear the weight of our hope. God’s purpose is not to give us everything we desire, but to make us into people who desire Him above all. This shaping sometimes involves suffering. Even Jesus “learned obedience through what he suffered” (Heb. 5:8). The same pattern holds for us.
Yet in this process, we have unshakable assurance: “All things work together for good to those who love God” (Rom. 8:28). Every circumstance is bent toward our highest good in His hands.
Becoming a People of Confident Trust and Hope
- Know and meditate on God’s promises. Like Abraham, who faced his own weakness yet “grew strong in faith” by trusting what God had said (Rom. 4:19–21), we strengthen confidence by remembering the promises.
- Reflect on God’s past faithfulness. David said, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Sam. 17:37). Rehearsing God’s mercies builds faith for the present.
- Act in faith and watch God work. God told Israel, “‘Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven…’” (Mal. 3:10). When we step forward in trust, God confirms His faithfulness through experience.
- Seek encouragement from others. “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds . . .” (Heb. 10:24–25). As Bonhoeffer observed, “The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain; his brother’s sure” (Life Together, 23. See also my article on this here).
Godward Affections
The Psalmist cries, “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you . . . as in a dry and weary land where there is no water” (Ps. 63:1). Were this longing the governing passion of our hearts, everything else—our work, relationships, and health—would find its proper order.
When God is first in our affections, all other loves fall into place. I often ask those struggling in relationships, “How is your walk with God?” Usually, it is not where it should be. When our souls no longer thirst for God first (Ps. 42:1–2), everything else becomes disordered.
When asked what commandment was greatest, Jesus replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Mt. 22:37). He added that love of neighbor naturally follows. This twofold love, He said, fulfills the whole law (v. 40). Loving God with our whole being is the essence of human life.
To love God is to delight in Him, to desire communion with Him, to hope in Him, and to align our priorities with His.
Developing Godward Affections
Few Christians dispute the importance of loving God first. The challenge lies in doing it. How do we grow in holy affection?
I recently listened to a podcast on the 80/80 marriage. The premise is simple: if you make marriage 50/50, you will always feel shortchanged because you see your own efforts more clearly than your spouse’s. A thriving relationship requires going beyond fairness—each giving 80%. The principle applies more broadly. We only recognize others’ contributions when we step outside ourselves to see them.
Think of the lesson in countless stories—from Coco and Encanto to Dead Poets Society and The Notebook: people rarely see how much love they have received until they stop to reflect. So it is with God. We fail to see how richly He blesses us until we pause to remember. That is why God awareness and meditation on His promises must come first. The more we recognize His goodness, the more our hearts are drawn toward Him.
David learned this as a shepherd in solitude. Time spent with God in the fields awakened hunger for more of Him. In the same way, our affections deepen through unhurried time with God—time in prayer, in His Word, and in His presence.
Conclusion
Eternal life is not merely endless existence; it is the best possible life—the life of fellowship with the Triune God. Within that fellowship lie peace, hope, joy, and endless blessing. God is restoring this fellowship throughout the world, and if you have said “yes” to Him, He is restoring it in you. He invites you to lean into that work and join what He is already doing to make you new.
Let us return once more to Brian Welch. After finding Jesus, he gave up fame, drugs, and the music scene to pursue Christ. Later, he realized he had overcorrected. He became obsessed with “following” Christ in the same way he had once been obsessed with drugs, even joining what he later described as a “cult-like” group. Seeing its toll on his daughter, he recalibrated. He did not give up on Christ, but he gave up on the misguided forms of pursuit.
His story resonates. It is easy to chase even religious devotion in ways that miss God Himself. The heart of our faith is not performance or intensity but communion—knowing, trusting, and loving God out of the experience of His love for us. That is the eternal life Jesus promised, and it changes everything.